Mr. Xing

At first glance driving in Shenyang seems to be quite similar to driving in the U.S. However, it only takes a moment before one realizes that the unspoken rules of the road make driving in Shenyang a much different experience. For drivers here, yellow lines don't exactly mean do not cross (even if a city bus is coming in the opposite direction!) It's also quite obvious that there is no such thing as "right-of-way", only "you'd-better-get-out-of-the-way". Cars, trucks, bikes, and pedestrians simply share the road (and the sidewalk) in a way that is foreign to us. That being said, it should come as no surprise that we do not drive here. We, like many expatriates in Shenyang, have a driver. His name is Xing.

Mr. Xing, as the kids call him, takes us wherever we need to go. At about 5'10" tall, he stands much taller than the stereotypical Chinese man. He has a warm smile and a gentle disposition. He speaks no English; we speak no Chinese. While this has made for many interesting exchanges over the past couple of weeks, we've managed to get where we need to go and share a few laughs along the way.

Fortunately, we have established somewhat of a routine in the past week which makes the communication much simpler. He picks us up at 7:15 each morning to take us to work and school. The car is full of our chatter. "Christian, do you have your lunchbox?" "Mama, can you go over my science vocabulary with me?" "Where's my water bottle?!" Mr. Xing is quiet.

After we get the kids off to school, Mr. Xing and I take the 30-minute drive back to the hotel. It's the most quiet car ride I've ever taken. As I take in all of the sights around us, I want so desperately to make some sort of small talk. "What are they building there? Is that a park? It sure is foggy this morning." For weeks I wondered, "Is he married? Does he have children?" Farell asked around and got the answers from for me a few days ago. Mr. Xing is married with a 17-month-old son.

While we sat in silence waiting for the kids after school yesterday, I used hand motions to ask him about his family. He put on a huge grin, then showed me their pictures on his cell phone. When I noticed Christian coming out of the school alone, I started to get out to meet him. Instead, Mr. Xing motioned for me to stay in the warm car. He met Christian at the gate, placed his arm around his shoulders, and lovingly walked him to the car. My thoughts at that moment..."We're in good hands."

What I wish most right now is that I had a better grasp of the language. In my long rides with Mr. Xing, I often think, "How arrogant of me to come live in his country without knowing his language." He doesn't seem to mind, though. I'm grateful for his patience and for his sincere care for our family. As I learn more Mandarin, I'll ask his permission to post his picture here. I'll then be sure to share with you our new family friend, Xing.